10 Simple Ways to Choose Connection

Every day you make choices. Some are pretty inconsequential – should I wear the blue shirt or black shirt? Some can change the trajectory of your whole day – should I work from home or go into the office? And some have the potential to affect your relationship – for better, worse, or somewhere in between.

When it comes down to it, wouldn’t you rather opt for the better?

Throughout your day, you have several opportunities to choose a path of more connection with your spouse – or go down the road of the status quo. While the status quo isn’t necessarily a bad thing, your marriage deserves more. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures or even huge changes, just putting forth a bit more intention throughout your day. Wondering what we mean?

Here are ten simple ways to choose connection:

1. Be intentional about hello and goodbye.

In the rush of the morning, it’s easy to yell a quick “see ya later” in passing. When returning home, a proper reunion often gets lost in the pre-dinner chaos. Choose connection by making a point to greet each other with a hug or kiss, or meet each other at the door if you can.

2. Hold hands on a walk or a drive.

You definitely don’t have to hold hands walking from the store to the car or on the drive home, but doing so is a nice way to initiate physical connection and bring back those early days of dating vibes.

3. Snuggle up on the couch instead of occupying opposite ends.

Sure, you have your designated spots. Maybe you have a place to set your water or the view of the TV is better. Forgo the conveniences in favor of connection, even if it’s just for half an episode.

4. Ask your spouse what they’re thinking.

Maybe you’re enjoying some companionable silence and you notice your partner looking pensive. Inquiring about what’s on their mind can spark connection through conversation.

5. Share what’s on your mind.

On the flip side, if you’re ruminating on something, you could default to keeping it to yourself. Instead, invite share your musings and get their take.

6. Put your phone away during meals.

Enjoying a meal together can be a bonding experience, but not when you’re both scrolling away silently. Put the phones away and focus on each other instead.

7. Help each other with a chore you normally do separately.

There’s probably a reason you do them separately, but every once in awhile, help each other out. It’s a great way to snag a little extra time together and gain appreciation for what you both do.

8. Snag a cozy booth at the restaurant.

Tables are fine, but something about sliding into a booth side by side makes it the clear choice for upping the romance level. You might even be inspired to share a milkshake.

9. Stop for a hug instead of brushing past.

You know the moments – you trying to around each other in the kitchen or you’re squeezing past them on your way out of the bathroom. You’re both there already, so why not make it intentional with a hug?

10. Go to bed at the same time.

Maybe one of you is a night owl while the other prefers to be in bed by 9 (at the latest!). A few nights a week, try to hit the hay at the same time. It gives you the chance for pillow talk, cuddles, and whatever else…

While these are all seemingly small choices you might make during a normal day, their effect adds up. Opting for the connection-boosting choices can solidify your bond while preventing complacency and disconnection. Which will you choose?