5 Ways to Show Commitment

Will you marry me? ’Til death do us part. I do. For better or for worse. In sickness and in health.

What do these phrases all have in common? Well, we tend to associate all of them with commitment. While what they signify is important, at the end of the day, they’re just words. Commitment can be present even without a formal ceremony or vows, and it can be absent even with those things. The game-changer is how you live out your commitment to each other – the actions and attitudes that reinforce the verbal expression. Without further “I do”, here are five ways to show commitment.

The obvious one – love, honor, and respect

This seems like a no-brainer. If it’s something you do without even thinking about it, that’s great! However, it’s not uncommon to need a reminder every now and then. In those times, we make a choice to treat our spouse with love and respect even when we aren’t necessarily feeling so loving toward each other. Intentionally loving each other, when you or your spouse are not at your best or when you’re going through a tough season demonstrates the unconditional commitment that you expressed in your vows.

Investing in your relationship

This can take many forms. It could be doing premarital counseling or going to counseling even after you’re married, It might be working on yourself to be a better spouse and supporting each other in doing so. It’s prioritizing each other and your relationship through all the craziness that life throws at you. The general idea here is that you continue to put in the effort to grow together and strengthen your relationship, instead of becoming complacent. This shows that you care about the quality of your marriage just as much as the longevity.

Following through

It could be something as simple as calling when you said you would or completing a task you started. Or perhaps it’s something bigger like working to become a better communicator or adjusting your spending habits to reach a financial goal. Whatever it may be, following through on the things you initiate is not only reflective of your ability to “walk the walk”, it also shows your partner that their trust in you – and not letting them down – is important. Being dependable reinforces and strengthens this trust.

Seeing the bigger picture during conflict

You’re going to have conflict. But when you’re committed to each other, that conflict is just a bump in the road on your bigger journey together – not a deal-breaker or something to be feared. You have a desire to work through it together, not just to get it over with, but for the better of your relationship in the long-term. Feeling secure in the fact that you’re both all in, no matter what, can give you the perspective you need to resolve conflicts in more productive ways.

Showing commitment even when your partner isn’t present

Commitment isn’t just something you display when your partner is there to witness it. It also shows up in your actions around others. For example, instead of complaining about their negative qualities around your children, relatives, and friends, you hold each other in high regard and speak kindly of one another. Or you respect the privacy and boundaries of your relationship by not sharing private matters with others. Even when you’re by yourself, you can live out your commitment by thinking of your spouse as you go about your day. Maybe you pick up their favorite dessert on your way home from work, or you turn down plans with a friend because you know they wanted to spend some quality time together. Showing your commitment even when your spouse isn’t present is a crucial part of living out your vows.

When we think about what goes into a strong marriage, our mind often goes to things like good communication or staying connected. And those things are very important. But underlying everything is commitment. We can express it through words, but our actions are what make it a sustaining force in our relationship.